Somedays Just Aren't
Mom is such a lover really. She means never to anger you , hurt you, or make things harder on anyone else. She'd take care of your every need if you would let her and ........if she could.
She is as sweet and giving as mamas come.
There are somedays, where there aren't any funny stories to blog, silly things that mom did or smiley moments to ponder on. Somedays are rough and challenging for both of us.
Days when she can bearly move to walk from her chair to the dining table, can hardly lift her head so I can see her face. Some days she can bearly stand up straight enough to see the rest of the world that goes on around her.
During these times, it seems it is harder to get her to eat, to simply open her mouth up enough so I can get the food in. At times she'll attempt to feed herself, but even that doesn't last long. It is like she just gets tired of the whole ordeal or loses interests or even forgets. Yes, forgets that she is supposed to eating. That the plate in front of her, is FOR her, filled with food that we HOPE she will enjoy.
Then of course, here I come, in all my bratty glory and scold her for something simply because I have lost all patience and her tears start to flow. Oh Lord, how that quickly brings me back to a softening tone, a kinder heart and back to the place where my mama needs me. That place where I always need to be for her. A place of understanding, compassion, love constant and without conditions or limitations.
That part of me is always and forever there for her, just on somedays, my evil twin gets lose and I allow myself to become challenged and overwhelmed with the care involved in taking care of mom.
And why am I sharing all this with you................who knows.............maybe it's cause I ran out of wet noodles to hit myself over the head with.
Any maybe, beyond the "Somedays", I still have my mama's smile. I might have to bend down to see it, but she does have a sunshine smile full of love despite what might have happened earlier in the "someday".
She is as sweet and giving as mamas come.
There are somedays, where there aren't any funny stories to blog, silly things that mom did or smiley moments to ponder on. Somedays are rough and challenging for both of us.
Days when she can bearly move to walk from her chair to the dining table, can hardly lift her head so I can see her face. Some days she can bearly stand up straight enough to see the rest of the world that goes on around her.
During these times, it seems it is harder to get her to eat, to simply open her mouth up enough so I can get the food in. At times she'll attempt to feed herself, but even that doesn't last long. It is like she just gets tired of the whole ordeal or loses interests or even forgets. Yes, forgets that she is supposed to eating. That the plate in front of her, is FOR her, filled with food that we HOPE she will enjoy.
Then of course, here I come, in all my bratty glory and scold her for something simply because I have lost all patience and her tears start to flow. Oh Lord, how that quickly brings me back to a softening tone, a kinder heart and back to the place where my mama needs me. That place where I always need to be for her. A place of understanding, compassion, love constant and without conditions or limitations.
That part of me is always and forever there for her, just on somedays, my evil twin gets lose and I allow myself to become challenged and overwhelmed with the care involved in taking care of mom.
And why am I sharing all this with you................who knows.............maybe it's cause I ran out of wet noodles to hit myself over the head with.
Any maybe, beyond the "Somedays", I still have my mama's smile. I might have to bend down to see it, but she does have a sunshine smile full of love despite what might have happened earlier in the "someday".
posted by gale at 12:16 PM
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